Are you worried that your husband isn’t happy? Have you noticed that the sparky guy you married has been replaced by a less animated version? Are bedtimes more about getting a good night’s sleep than sharing intimacy? Perhaps your partner isn’t as contented in your marriage as you thought? Check the signs to see if he’s unhappy, and decide if your behavior is contributing. Finally follow our seven tips to fix your marriage and make your unhappy husband happier.
7 Signs of an Unhappy Husband
1. He puts off chores and routine maintenance jobs around the home and then tells you that you are nagging when you ask him to do them.
2. Your sex life has dwindled to almost nothing.
3. He seems happier when there’s company around. That’s when you realize how different he is when alone with you.
4. Conversation is… well, what conversation? He turns on the TV as soon as he comes home. He answers you in monosyllables.
5. He shows irritation more often than he used to. Little things seem to wind him up, whether it’s the kids shrieking while playing, or he can’t find the remote.
6. He works longer hours and doesn’t mind.
7. He’s reluctant to go out with you, your friends, to parties and family gatherings, but quite happy to disappear off with his buddies to the game.
7 Ways You Make Him Unhappy
1. You share more with your best friend than with him. Your best friend, male of female, knows more about your emotional state than your husband does. This is bound to make him feel pushed out. As though he is an observer in the marriage, not an equal participant.
2. You sigh a lot because he's always to blame. He feels he can’t do anything right.
3. Your expectations are too high. Perhaps you are comparing your marriage to that of celebrities or your best friend.
4. You say no more often than you say yes.
5. You don’t tell him about your work or your day. It’s just too complicated and he wouldn’t understand.
6. You use him as the butt of your jokes. You are very funny and he may laugh right along with everyone else, but inside he’s cringing with embarrassment.
7. Your goals conflict with his. This can be a deal breaker especially if children are involved.
7 Ways to Fix Your Marriage
All marriages go through phases, some happier than others, but if the signs of your unhappy husband continue, and you want to save your marriage, you will have to address the issues. The good news is that you can do this almost by yourself. When you change yourself and what you do, your husband will respond almost without knowing why.
1. Take a good hard look at yourself. What do you need to improve? Is your own discontent making him miserable? What is missing in your life? Have you talked to your husband about it? Are you treating him badly? Is he more like a convenient handyman than a husband? Has your marriage become a supporting structure for your life rather than a shared journey with someone you love? Do you make all the important decisions in the marriage? Ask yourself this series of hard questions remembering that all improvement starts within. It’s important not to assign blame to yourself. Decide to make it better.
2. Remember all the things that attracted you to him in the first place. Make a list of all his good points. Appreciate the heck out of him. Write down why you love those things about him. Appreciation is love. While you are appreciating your husband, you cannot be feeling dislike, or frustration or unhappiness. Fill your heart with appreciation and he will feel the benefit. We all know when someone is holding us as their focus of appreciation whether words are spoken or not.
3. Create a vision of your perfect marriage. Again write down what a good marriage looks like. Write it out as if you already have it. The more detail you can add, the better. As you write it out, you will be inspired to make changes in order to achieve your dream marriage. This is not a one-night exercise. Repeat at least twice a week for three months. You don’t have to tell anyone, least of all your husband, that you are doing this. Remember, your marriage is unique and has its own character.
4. If one of the factors is a lack of time for each other, then make time. This is a priority, not a vague promise to be set aside for ‘more important’ things. Nothing is more important than your relationship with each other. He may have a better relationship with the TV than with you, so start there. Instead of insisting that he turn it off, snuggle up to him with his favorite snack. Pretty soon he’ll be asking you what you want to watch.
5. Surprise your husband by teeny-tiny flirtatious moments. Brush his cheek with a kiss as you pass by. Cup his face in your hands and kiss his briefly on the lips. Smile at him. Use your imagination. Increased physical contact will reignite passion between you.
6. Arrange dates. It sounds corny, but it’s fun. Get out of the house. Go to a restaurant, the more romantic, the better. Go to the movies and sit close. Go for a drive in the countryside. The more couples do together, the stronger their marriage becomes. Save up some things to talk about. How often do you see couples together who aren’t talking? While it can be lovely to share silence with someone, it’s no good if you are each immersed in your own little world. The key word here is ‘sharing’. So talk or be quiet together… but share.
7. This is your concern; it isn’t your sister’s or your mother’s or your best friend’s. So keep it to yourself. Don’t share intimate details of your marriage with other people. They are always ready to give their opinion and it could affect you. Would you be happy about your husband sharing secrets of your marriage with his friends or coworkers? Doubtful. So don’t do it.
The seven steps above are just the start of an improved marriage and a happier husband. Should it not get better, then you may have to enlist professional help and address the problems with him. However, just by following the tips by yourself could resolve all the issues and breathe new life into your relationship. Try it.