"I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you, not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me." – Roy Croft
People are complicated. We have complicated relationships. When two people find each other against all odds, their expectations may be different. Two distinct personalities that each carry different baggage can have a lot of issues. It's no wonder that most relationships are temporary. You may find yourself trying to decide if you are in a good relationship.
Image source: Pedro Ribeiro Simões on Flickr
What do you think are the characteristics of a good romantic partner? Is it time to commit to the person you have been dating?
An intuitive reading may help to clarify the situation.
It takes time and energy to build a good relationship. Relationships are not instant. You may be attracted to someone "at first sight", but you shouldn't have unconditional trust and love until you get to know them.
You will have to figure out if it's worth it to keep investing time, energy and emotion in your romance. Ask yourself: what is a successful relationship?
Standards may vary among couples, but there are some important signs that you are in a healthy, happy relationship.
10 Signs of a Good Relationship
1. Equal Partners
Image source: Katherine on Flickr
The ideal couple, in today's world, are equal partners. They make decisions as partners. Deal with finances jointly and share responsibilities. There should be a balance in what each brings to the relationship. Partners give and receive in equal proportion most of the time.
In the past, men dominated women and handled all decisions that the couple made.
In modern society, some couples (both men and women) still enjoy allowing one partner to “take care" of another.
More and more men are taking care of the children while the women work. There are also some more traditional relationships out there, where women run the households and don't contribute financially.
Whatever the roles you take, each person needs to be comfortable with their responsibilities in the relationship. You may not seem to fit the current ideal for equal partners, but if you are comfortable and happy, you are on the right track.
Usually, you want to feel like your partner would be a good parent. If you have children from a previous relationship or want children in the future, keep this in mind.
2. Communications
Image source: J. K. Califf on Flickr
To be secure together, you have to understand each other truly. You can achieve this understanding through open communication. Both parties must feel free to tell each other anything. They need to know that their partner is listening. Both of you need to be open to feedback and respectful of the other person's need to vent.
3. Chemistry
Image source: BrendaCalara on Flickr
You attract each other at every level. Intellectual, spiritual, physical and emotional attraction are important. If you are bored with your partner, this is a bad sign. If you enjoy talking to them but are not interested in a physical relationship, this is a friendship. There is nothing wrong with having friends.
The chemistry should be in all areas to have a romantic relationship
It's important that you are proud of your partner. You both enjoy each others' company, and you are not ashamed to introduce them to your friends and family.
4. Trust
Image source: J. K. Califf on Flickr
You should be secure in each other. This sense of security may be a feeling that grows within your relationship. At some point, it becomes acknowledged that you have each other's back. If you are in an exclusive monogamous relationship, there is no suspicion or fear that the other party is cheating.
Trust is based on self-esteem and experience.
5. Respect
Image source: Rosanne Haaland on Flickr
You must feel like you are with someone that is worthy. Respect is a feeling of deep admiration. This feeling is mutual. You both admire each other's abilities and qualities.
Each partner should also treat the other partner's friends and family with respect. If your partner tries to separate you from your family of origin or doesn't want to meet your friends, this is a warning sign.
Each person takes responsibility for their feelings and behaviors. There should be no blame and no shame in a healthy relationship.
"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love," — Robert Fulghum
6. Joy
Image source: J. K. Califf on Flickr
Your partner should make you laugh. You should be able to laugh together. In each other's company, you should experience happiness, not fear or insecurity.
When people pair off, they should feel that they are enjoying themselves. A joyless couple has no future, or a bleak future at best.
7. Acceptance
Image source: J. K. Califf on Flickr
When you can enjoy spending time together, you are on the right track. In a successful relationship, it's important that you accept each other as you are.
Each of you may have bad habits. You will both have wonderful assets. Acceptance of both the bad and the good is essential. You must not invest time and energy in trying to control or "fix" the other person.
If your partner is belittling or trying to change your views or behavior, take this as proof that there is a major flaw.
The relationship is destined to fail if you want to change each other.
8. Compromise
Image source: Philippe Leroyer on Flickr
In any long-term relationship, compromises must be made. If you have disagreements, you should allow the other person's opinions. There are some couples that belong to different religions, political parties or have diverse beliefs.
If you respect each other, you should willing to allow them their beliefs. Many arguments and disagreements require the ability of both sides to "give a little". No two people agree on everything. You must allow the other party their views.
Compromises achieved through emotional blackmail, whining, and finger-pointing are not true compromises.
9. Affection
Image source: Lynn Friedman on Flickr
If you are with an amazing person but you don't feel like you care that much, it may be time to move on.
Sometimes love grows with respect over time. It may also grow in one person and not another.
We all have more than one soulmate in each incarnation. There are many possible partners. Don't settle for less.
Sometimes you find you are in a deep and unromantic friendship. Even though the relationship is wonderful, romance is missing.
You may need to let your partner go. Set them free so they can find someone who can love and appreciate them. You need that same freedom.
10. Encouragement
Image source: Pedro Ribeiro Simões on Flickr
It is often said that healthy couples bring out the best in each other. A relationship is healthy when each person encourages the other to succeed. There is no fear that one will outgrow the other.
A healthy relationship should nurture the freedom of each partner to pursue individual interests, education, and personal growth.
You both enjoy doing things together and are happy when your partner has success outside of the relationship.
Remember that relationships don’t come with guarantees. Recognizing a potential romantic partner does not mean that it is destined to be.
True empowerment is learning to recognize when you are on the right path. An intuitive reading may help you sort through the complex maze of compatibility and commitment.