Do you look at your partner and wonder where the love went? Do you find yourself searching for that breathless feeling that was once all-consuming? Long-term relationships always change, adapt and offer new challenges so this might be one of those challenges, but it might also signify the end. A relationship ending does not mean failure. It doesn’t mean you are no good at being with someone. It does mean that you deserve the best from your personal connections. You owe it to yourself to realize that a bad relationship is not better than no relationship. So can you recognize when love is gone? Is there anything you can do to save it? Have you the courage to end it? Here are 10 signs to look out for.
1. Your Relationship has Become a Habit
While this not necessarily a bad thing—many couples report that they feel like love is like slipping into a pair of favorite slippers—if it becomes habitual too early, then it’s a sign that the spark is gone. Other signs that your relationship has become a habit are:
- You put far less energy into it.
- You go for hours without thinking of your partner.
- When talking to them feels like an obligation, not something you want to do.
- You are bored.
2. You Express Affection Less Frequently
You sit apart when watching TV. You don’t reach for each other as much as you used to. You suddenly discover that you smile at each other less. Other things become more important. Very often this happens when children arrive. New parents are exhausted and the last thing that they want is to have to make an effort with their partner. This is completely normal, but do make sure you reconnect as often as possible. And never shut each other out. Talk about how sorry you are to feel like this and make a joke of it. And also make concrete plans to have some scheduled time for yourselves.
If this lack of affection occurs after just a few months, you might want to rethink your priorities regarding your relationship. Perhaps you are not that much into him anymore, or maybe she has lost interest in progressing any further with you?
3. You Spend More Time on Your Phones
When you are on your phone you place a virtual bubble around yourselves. You are immersed in a world where your partner does not exist. In fact, when either of you are engrossed in your personal screens you have tuned out the rest of the world altogether. You could agree to not pick up your phones after 8pm and make an effort to actually be together in the same space.
4. You Pull Away
You don’t mean to do it, but the other night when he grabbed your hand, you automatically pulled it away. You felt bad, but it was a reflex. He was bridging your personal space and your body responded. That’s a warning sign that you have placed a barrier between you. Ask yourself why.
5. You Are Bored by Their Conversation
Do you know what she is going to say before she says it? Does your whole body yawn in protest at the same old conversation? Do you think you can take a whole lifetime of this? If that’s the way you feel, it won’t get any better unless you make an effort to liven up your interactions. And take a look at yourself first—often the thing that bores us about our partner is evident in ourselves. If you show interest in new topics, your partner will too.
6. Do You Keep Things To Yourself?
Remember when you shared everything? Your thoughts, feelings, memories, even the silliest things? Do you still do that? Or do you feel your partner’s not listening? Or maybe you just can’t be bothered to tell him or her how you feel anymore? If you keep things to yourself, it’s possible you don’t give credence to their personal revelations either.
7. Lack of Patience
When one partner begins to show irritation with the other, it usually means that s/he is feeling stressed and out of control. It might indicate there are external factors, such as pressure at work, which are to blame. If it isn’t anything like that, then it could mean you are not enjoying each other’s company and it’s time to have a major discussion about your future together.
8. You Feel a Slight Sense of Dread When They Come Home
This is a sure sign that the relationship is sliding towards oblivion. When you feel relief that they are working late, or that your date is canceled, you need to give some thought why you feel that way. It’s possible you need some time to yourself, or that your relationship really is past its sell-by date.
Another possibility is you are acting when with your partner, and that slight feeling of dread is because you have to don your other persona for their benefit. If this is the case, you are with the wrong person. If you can’t be your authentic self with your significant other, you are living a lie. You will be doing you both a favor if you call it a day.
Of course, if you are feeling real fear because of their abusive behavior, you shouldn't be in a relationship with them at all. Get out as soon as you can.
9. When It’s a Relief to Wave Bye Bye
When you close the door after your partner leaves and you feel nothing but relief, it’s a huge sign that the relationship is almost over. Think about what it is that is welcome when they leave. Do you feel as though the atmosphere has lifted? Are you more energized? More yourself? This signals basic incompatibility issues—you are probably draining each other’s energy. It’s likely your partner feels the same way when they leave. Consider having The Talk.
10. The Idea It’s Over Spells Freedom
What do you feel when you think about splitting with your partner? If the idea seems to promise freedom, you are very likely to be halfway to breaking up.
When Love is Gone Early in the Relationship
Should any of these signs be present early in the relationship, it’s almost certain that you are not meant to be together. If you want to keep working at it, then that’s fine—keep those channels of communication open and buzzing and you may be able to pull it back from the brink.
When Love Fades In An Established Relationship
Of course it’s very different if you have been together a while and have joint responsibilities and obligations. Even though any one (or more) of the above signs may occur, you can address them and overcome them if both of you want to make it work. Even if that passionate early love has faded, you can sculpt your relationship into a form that suits you both. And later, it will change again and you can adapt once more. Remember that you owe it to yourself to create the best, most rewarding relationship you can have. Don’t settle for less.
Don't forget, you can contact one of our psychics for more insights into your personal relationship.
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