“True beauty is when someone radiates that they like themselves,” ~ Aimee Mullins
True beauty is instantly recognizable, whether it be in an adult, a child or a spectacular sunset. All of us want to be truly beautiful, and we make huge efforts to ensure we look good to others.
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People admire outward beauty; a flawless skin, perfect features, and eyes that sparkle. However, those things are soon forgotten. What sticks in people’s minds and hearts is something different, something special. An encounter with true beauty is a moment you will never forget, not 'til your dying day.
When it happens, your heart will fill with joy. There’s no thought because true beauty is pure emotion. When you start thinking again, the moment has passed.
It could be when you first look into your baby’s eyes and renew and deepen the connection you made when she quickened in the womb. It might be when you walk through a forest, and your senses are overwhelmed by peace. Or it could be when you were little and your granny hugged you, wrapped you in the scent of baked cookies and made you feel so safe you didn’t want to be anywhere else in the whole world.
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Occasionally it happens when you first meet someone. It might just be a woman at the checkout who waves you through in front of her loaded trolley. She smiles at you so kindly that you think of her all day. It might be the instant you fall in love, when you suddenly can’t think straight because, for a moment, this person displaced every thought, feeling and memory in your soul.
How Do I Become Truly Beautiful?
All the cosmetics in the world, or all the plastic surgery that money can buy, won’t make true beauty shine from within you.
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The first step, and possibly the only one, is to fall in love with the beautiful being that you are. Counter-intuitive, perhaps, but until you can achieve this, you can never be one of those beautiful souls that others are drawn to like moths to a flame.
Acceptance of Who You Are
No-one on earth is perfect, no-one ever has been, not even Jesus. To become a beautiful being, you must accept every facet of yourself, even the not-so-nice side.
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Every single person has a darker self; mostly we hide it, suppress it, ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist. To love yourself you have to acknowledge and appreciate this shadow-self as much as you love the ‘good’ you.
What is this ‘Dark Side’?
Your dark side, or shadow aspect, as the psychologist, Carl Jung postulated, comprises all the things you hate about yourself. To get a good idea of these, make a list of things you hate about other people. You hate these characteristics because they are a mirror of your psyche. You think that if you let them out, you will be seen as ‘wrong’ or ‘ugly’.
It’s true that if you are only showing this side, then you will drive people away from you. Nevertheless, when you are alone, you should bring these shadows out, one by one. Face them, examine them and appreciate them. For example, you could be fearful of spiders — love that fear and appreciate it for keeping you safe. You’ll probably find that your fear of spiders lessens considerably. If not, then hold it like a jewel and radiate love towards it. Do that with all your fears, hates, defects, flaws and negative memories.
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It’s akin to digging out layers and layers of silted mud. Bring them out and acknowledge them. Don't try and get rid of them – remember that they are part of you; it would be like chopping off your finger because you broke a nail. They are as much the real you as the ‘nice’ you. Accept them. It’s hard work and can take a long time, forever even. As you do this work, your soul becomes lighter, and you start to love yourself. Truly.
Practice Loving Yourself
Tell yourself, “I love you.” Kamal Ravikant in his book, Love Yourself Like your Life Depends On It, says, “As you love yourself, life loves you back.” He advises that all you have to do is repeat, over and over, “I love myself, I love myself.” And miracles will happen.
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Ravikant likens the ‘dark side’ to a dirty window — your task is to pull out a cloth and clean it. When your negative thoughts, feelings, and memories arise, acknowledge them, polish them, give them love and the light will flow.
The Benefits of Being Truly Beautiful
- You will feel confident.
- You won’t care what people think of you because you have learned that it’s what you think of you that matters.
- You’ll smile more, laugh more — after all, you looked at your fears and found them to be insignificant when compared to your strengths.
- You’ll be kinder to others because it costs nothing and makes them feel good.
- People will feel drawn to you. They want to spend time with you because you make them feel good. Your inner beauty is contagious.
- Love will fill your life. When you love yourself, this is a truth. The more you love you, the more love you will experience.
- You will have more and more beautiful moments.
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Relationships become easier. When you love who you are and accept your every characteristic, then you can be the same toward others. When a relationship has run its course, you can smile and wish the person well. There’s no hatred or blame. You are free to love even more.
Expressing True Beauty
When you can love yourself completely, unconditionally, without judgment or self-recrimination, then you will appear beautiful to the world. You will act with love and kindness. You are helpful because it is your nature to be helpful.
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Your reward will be in the face of the person you helped. It’s not about doing good things or saying kind words, because they make you feel good; that happens anyway. It’s about doing it because it’s just what you do; an outward expression of the true beauty within you.
- “Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It” Kamal Ravikant. CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform.