It’s a rare relationship that doesn’t experience a glitch or two. Everyone has a few quirks and both partners usually learn to adapt to them. However, there are some signs which are indisputable red flags. Those early indicators that don’t bode well. In fact they signal complete relationship disaster. Here are 10 red flags to look out for. Five for men and five for women. Learn them, know them, and when you spot them in a potential partner—run! Don’t look back.
If you are concerned about a new love-interest’s behavior, contact one of our psychic advisers for relationship guidance.
Five Red Flag Warnings: Men
- All His Ex’s Fault
- He Only Talks About Money, Honey
- Sex Sex Sex
- He Can’t Communicate
- You Already Belong to Him
It’s His Ex’s Fault
How does he describe his ex? How does he explain how it all went wrong? Pay attention to his words. Should he say, “Oh well, we were incompatible. We tried but it didn’t work.” That’s a healthy perception of an ex relationship. If, though, he says, “It was all her fault. She used to do this and she used to say that. Really, she was a basket case…” Red flag. An emotionally intelligent person takes responsibility for their part in a break-up.
This isn’t just about his romantic partners either. Maybe he talks derogatorily about other friends, or coworkers or members of his family. See if you can spot a pattern.
If He Only Talks About Money
And how much things cost, and how much he earns, and his upcoming deals, and his investments, yada, yada. Of course these things come up in general conversation, but some people are obsessed by money. It’s boring and, frankly, unhealthy.
Somewhat connected is if he only talks bout his work. Fine if it’s interesting and you are interested, but again, if he keeps on and on about it…
If He Keeps Referring to Sex
Flirty is fine. In fact, it’s great. But if he seems a trifle over-anxious to get you to bed, you might want to rein it in a little. It’s up to you.
Maybe He Barely Speaks At All
Some people are natural, outgoing communicators. Others are less confident, maybe a little shy. However, there are some that are plain awkward. If you get that uncomfortable feeling, communication, or lack of it, may become an issue. Heck, it’s already an issue. Do you want to go through this again on a second date?
He Assumes It’s a Done Deal
Does it sound like your date thinks you are an item? On the first or second date? That maybe he think it’s forever. Already? He is assuming too much, don’t you think? What you want to hear is, “Would you like to go with me to…?” Not, “We’ll go see my sister on Saturday.” It could be enthusiasm, so cut him a little slack. However if he starts acting like he is your significant other, then perhaps you should correct him? No-one enjoys the feeling they are being pushed into a relationship. Dig your heels in, refuse to go down that route and get off the bus.
Five Red Flags: Women
- The Control Freak
- She Still Loves Her Ex
- She Can't Leave Her Phone Alone
- Addicted to Crises and Drama
- Her Kids Are Her Main Topic of Conversation
Beware the Control Freak
Has she already started telling you what to do and how to run your life? Or is she being over-protective? Or questioning you on your choice of friends? It’s surprising how many women believe that one date confers special powers on them. That your life is now under their control. No good can come of this. Wave goodbye merrily as you skip out the door.
She's Still In Love with Him
If her eyes light up when she talks about her ex, or she stares wistfully into the middle distance, it’s likely her ex fills her thoughts. You’ll be in competition with him right from the beginning. And you won’t win.
Beware also, if her previous relationship is unresolved. That, in fact, she’s cheating on her ex with you. Do you think she’ll have any compunctions about doing the same to you? Of course not.
Habitual Phone Checker
Does she keep looking at her phone? All of the time? Is she on a date with you or her Facebook besties? Obsessive phone checking is death to any romantic date. If she keeps doing it, tell her you will leave. Then leave.
Crisis After Crisis
Does your date seem to live by navigating crisis after crisis? Does she recount situations and entanglements that she just can’t seem to deal with? It could be simply a sign of immaturity; she’s still working out the kinks of how life works, or more seriously, it might already be a way of life for her. You may have either an irresponsible incompetent, or a drama queen on your hands. Could you live like this? Nah.
She Can’t Stop Talking About her Kids
If she has children, she is going to talk about them. That’s fine. But not to the point when you want to shoot yourself in order to end the conversation. If it continues even when you try to change the subject, it might not be a good idea to ask for a second date.
Obsession or Healthy Interest—Men or Women
We’ve mentioned some obsessive behavior already. People who compulsively check their phones or talk about their exes. However, people can have many other obsessions… and you have to know that you will never take first place over an obsession. So whether it is gaming, the gym, work or whatever, you have to make the decision if you can live with it. You might decide it’s something you can get into. Or support them through. It might be that they are involved in a competitive sport. Or trying to reach an important goal. Or simply getting through their exams. You have to decide if it is passion or obsession. And they mean different things to different people.
Be Negativity Sensitive
When you are on the first and second date. How does your partner speak? Can you discern an overall pattern of negativity? Are they constantly moaning, complaining, blaming? It might sound quite funny. Many people are able to dress up negativity in comedy. Try to gage the underlying feeling. If it’s overwhelmingly negative, this one’s not for you.
So that’s our list of relationship red flags. You may have some of your own to add. One thing to notice: if you find yourself defending or justifying their unacceptable behavior, it could be time to open your eyes to see the truth.
Don't forget, we have an excellent team of psychics who specialize in relationship advice. Get in touch now.
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