If you are just coming out of a broken relationship, you probably don’t feel too good. Give yourself a little time and self-nurturing, and you’ll soon be on the road to recovering from that bad relationship experience. To help you along your way, here are seven unexpected blessings of a broken relationship.
Love Lessons Learned
You’ve learned some lessons, haven’t you? Perhaps you have discovered that you won’t be taken for granted? Or maybe you know how to deal with people better? Go back to the time you had together and work out what you could have improved in yourself, or how you will act differently next time. Decide on some boundaries to set in your next relationship. For example, if he stands you up more than once with no good reason, then he’ll have to go. Make up your mind not to put up with being treated badly. There are valuable life lessons to be learned from every relationship, good and bad, so do a little digging.
Know What You Want in Your Next Relationship
The great thing about being involved with a love rat is coming out of it knowing what you don’t want in a relationship. Knowing what you don’t want helps you to determine what you do want.
Try this exercise: write down all your exes’ faults. Go on, it’s a cathartic experience. Think of every niggling thing that bothered you about him. The way he ate, his predictable jokes, his lack of style. Write them all down. You can even include things from previous broken relationships. Once you’ve completed your Bad Love List, write down the attributes you’d like in a new relationship: he always puts you first, his conversation is witty and original, he dresses sublimely, he smells delicious, and all the other aspects of a lover who can keep you interested. When you’ve completed your Good Love List, throw the bad one away and put this one where you can refer to it daily. Focusing on your ideal lover will bring him to you. It might not be the next one, but you’ll be getting closer all the time.
Learn to Love Yourself
This is a biggie. If you don’t love yourself, then you could be doomed to a series of broken relationships. Learn to love and appreciate yourself, and others will be bound to do the same. You are not a bad person; you were simply in the wrong relationship. You have flaws; we all do. So do most of the world’s most renowned gemstones. Your flaws are part of who you are. Learn to accept them and to integrate them with all the great things about you. You are unique. You deserve love.
Try this. Sit quietly. Drop your shoulders and breathe out a big sighing breath. Carry on breathing steadily, relaxing as much as you can. Feel a positive point of energy in your solar plexus. Focus on it growing and expanding. Give it a name: ‘Love’. Let the love flow right through you and out of your heart, hands and head. Know that you are love. Revel in the feeling. Let the energy recede to your solar plexus and know that you can flow it through you anytime you want.
Enjoy Your Own Company
You enjoy being alone, right? You don’t? Well, it’s time you did. Make a list—we like lists a lot – of solitary activities that you might enjoy. Some suggestions are:
Cook yourself a special meal
Watch a movie that means something to you, preferably a happy one
Read that book you’ve been meaning to get to for the longest time
Pamper yourself: give your feet a pedicure or your hair a conditioning treatment
Buy a small bar of the best quality chocolate you can find. Enjoy every melting mouthful, guilt-free
Think of all the positives of being alone—control of the remote, sleeping on whichever side of the bed you want, having a pajama day, and doing any darn thing you like
Go for a walk.
Being alone sometimes is good for you. You have time to get to know yourself. To think about stuff. To work out things. To count your blessings. People often avoid being alone because they feel incomplete without other people around, or because they simply don’t know how to be in their own company and enjoy it.
Help Others Deal With Their Broken Relationship
You’ve been through hell with your ex. You are dealing with the pain of a broken relationship, and you are surviving it. Becoming a better person. Now you can help others get over their ex. Join a Facebook group and gently offer your advice to anyone who needs it. When your friend comes to you in tears because her boyfriend just broke up with her, you’ll be able to relate what is working for you.
Rebuild Your Friendships
Make time to get back in touch with people you have lost contact with because of your ex. Work on building up a support network of good friends. Decide to keep in touch with them—however involved you become in a new relationship. Having friends to call on in the not-so-good-times is a huge blessing.
Use That Creative Energy
If you are having a hard time getting over your broken relationship, then channel that energy into something creative. Write poetry—doesn’t matter if it’s good, bad or downright ugly. Just get some words down to describe your feelings. If writing’s not your thing, then how about you paint or draw your emotions? If all else fails, clean like a crazy cleaning thing. Throw out anything that reminds you of him. Get rid of the clutter. Clear that stagnant energy out of every corner. You’ll soon be back on track and looking forward instead of back.