Is it possible that our loved ones say goodbye just as they pass over? Many people would tell you yes, they do. We’ve all heard of Near Death Experience (NDE), but there is also a phenomena known as Shared Death Experience (SDE). A shared death experience occurs when some message or unusual occurrance during, or just after, a person dies. Those who experience an SDE insist that their loved one was saying ‘goodbye’ or maybe ‘see ya’.
What is a Shared Death Experience?
The Shared Crossing Project describes SDE as “as an empathic co-experiencing of the passing away of their beloved.” It means that someone is so in tune with the dying person that they feel the exact moment they pass away. Whether they are right there with them or on the other side of the world. The phenomenon also includes messages delivered to the survivor just after death. These messages almost universally give comfort and reassurance to those who have recently been bereaved.
Many people report feeling overwhelming sadness or relief as a loved one passes, even when they didn't realise death was occurring. In lots of cases, they ‘knew’ their loved one had died without being told. Later, they’d discover that the death happened at the exact time they had the emotional response. Some have even reported feeling joy and happiness as their beloved was released from pain and suffering.
One woman says she awoke at the exact time of her father’s death and felt a light kiss just behind her ear and felt a wave of peace and love pour through her. Her dad used to always kiss her behind her ear when she was a little girl.
Physical Experiences of SDE
A young woman from London, UK, says she was sitting in abject sadness at the funeral home after the sudden death of her mother. She couldn’t stop sobbing in her grief. Then she noticed that a gold chain around her neck, given to her by her mother, began to get warm. The warmth spread and suffused all through her body and suddenly she knew that her mother was comforting her with love. Her sadness evaporated and, from then on, she felt peace and happiness whenever she thought of her mother.
Rachel and her ex-husband divorced many years previously but had always remained good friends and they had two grown up children. In 2010 her ex passed after a short battle with cancer. The next day, Rachel was driving quite near to the home they had shared together when she spotted a heron landing on a roof. She slowed down to take a better look, and remembered that herons were her former husband’s favorite birds. The heron looked right at her as she passed.
Later, she mentioned the incident to her son and he said that a heron had landed in his garden at the very same time. Rachel was quite astounded by this so phoned her daughter, who lived some distance away, and she also reported seeing a heron at that exact time. All three are convinced that dad had sent the birds to say goodbye.
Electrical Messages When Loved Ones Say Goodbye
One of the most common way that loved ones say goodbye is by interfering with electrical circuits and, in particular, lights.
LK says that her family had brought her grandfather’s ashes home after the funeral and they were temporarily placed in their living room. One of the lights in the room hadn’t worked for years so the family were surprised when the light suddenly came on. Once they had interned his ashes, the light stopped working again. Perplexed, her mother called in an electrician who showed her that the light couldn’t possibly work because the connecting wires were damaged.
Comfort From the Afterlife
It appears that the majority of people who receive messages from their loved ones feel nothing but peace and love. They say it helps them enormously to deal with the grieving process. In many cases, the receiver of the message felt only positive emotions about their loved one’s death. They say they know everything is good, that their beloved is at peace and they are certain they will reunite in time.
A study carried out on 20 book-length written accounts discovered one of the patterns shown was “instantaneous relief from painful grief symptoms”. This enabled surviving spouses, children and friends to move on with their life without having to deal with the long-term and very painful process of coming to terms with the death.
Signs Your Loved One is Saying Goodbye
- You feel a presence close by.
- Your body senses pressure or warmth.
- It feels as if someone is watching you, but it’s not uncomfortable.
- They may visit you in vivid dreams.
- You may smell their perfume or something you always associated with them, such as tobacco or a baking cookies.
- You hear their voice – one lady has a message on her answer-machine which asks “How are you?”. She knows it was from her husband who had died some weeks earlier. Other people have also confirmed that it is his voice.
- When it's very quiet you hear the sound of their watch or clock ticking.
- Lights and other electrical items behave weirdly.
- The TV channel changes by itself, sometimes to a program that has some connection or significance to the deceased.
- You keep finding items that belonged to your loved one, or objects that had some meaning for them. Often these items seem to appear randomly, as if they have been placed where you will find them.
- Similarly, you might find white feathers or certain kinds of flowers, leaves or pebbles.
- You hear songs that they loved or have lyrics which remind you of them.
- You experience profound peace and a feeling of pure love.
Please tell us your shared death experience when a loved one said goodbye, and let us know if it helped you to cope with the aftermath of their passing. Should you need reassurance that all is well, please contact one of our gentle and empathetic psychics who can put your mind at ease.