When we truly fall in love, we never believe it might not last. We feel that we’ve found The One; the person who we will spend the rest of our life with. Yet, the probability of separation and divorce is high; around one in two couples, globally, will divorce. So how to stay together forever? How to make this relationship be the last one? Here are some tips to help you fan the flames of love and keep that long-term passion glowing.
Get Into Positive Love Habits
It’s important to start as you mean to go on, and that means getting into the habit of putting your relationship or marriage first. Make it your top priority. Your relationship is an investment for your future. You pour your love, time and money into it, so make it all count. There are lots of small things you can do and say that will have a long-term positive impact on the relationship and help you stay together forever.
Ask your partner how they are; how their day went. Show an interest in their daily life after all you spend hours apart. They might not want to relive every detail of their work day, but it gives your partner the chance to unload any tension. Sometimes, talking to your loved one can relieve stress, even if they don’t understand the intricacies of your job.
Remember to tell them that you care. “I love you” is a beautiful sentiment, of course, but it can become automatic, so try your best to put some feeling into it or say it in another way:
- Do you know how much I love you/care about you?
- You are The One, you know that, don’t you?
- You are my most favourite person in the whole world.
- I really, really love you.
Kiss every day. Kiss hello and goodbye, even if you’ve had a disagreement. Plant a big kiss on their head or face in passing. Deep kiss whenever you can.
Ask, “Can I do anything to help?” Sometimes one partner is feeling overwhelmed but keeps it to themselves. Just asking if you can help out can make them feel better.
Strategies For Long-Term Cooperation Between Couples
Day-to-day tasks, problems and anxieties are like nails in the coffin of long-term relationships. Have strategies in place right from the start in order to avoid certain issues. These things aren’t romantic, but they are necessary, so don’t let them become wedges that drive you apart.
The key to a smooth-running household is communication. Ensure you talk about all this stuff right from the start. Planning out all those boring tasks and responsibilities makes lighter work of them all.
Set up your joint finances. Whether one person deals with the bills, or you both tackle them together. Whether you have separate bank accounts or a joint one, or separate personal accounts and one joint family one. Work out what is best for your set-up. You can change it as you go along, but if you start out right, it’ll be a huge source of anxiety out of the way.
Home maintenance tasks. These usually fall between the two and each finds their own routine within the relationship. However, if one partner feels over-burdened because the other is not pulling their weight in the household chore department it can lead to resentment. So ensure that each does their bit.
Shopping and cooking. Do share as much as possible. Unless you agree that the responsibility of shopping for groceries and household necessities should fall to one partner, it makes sense for each to know their tasks for the week ahead. One can do the meal planning and cooking, while the other always cleans up. One partner may do the big weekly shop, while the other agrees to pick up the forgotten or incidental items. Or you may prefer to shop together and turn it into a fun experience. As long as you are both involved in some way – after all, preparing meals is an excellent opportunity to spend quality time together.
Having said all that, remember that one of you might have to take on more of the household tasks and chores if the other is working longer hours, dealing with a big work project or is sick. Flexibility is of paramount importance between couples.
Support your Significant Other
Look for ways in which to support and encourage your partner. Each of you should make an effort to remain observant and offer support in whatever way you can whenever necessary. Ar parties or gatherings, if you think your partner is being bullied or railroaded, get in there and stand next to them. Even if you don’t always agree with them, it’s a good idea to show a united front and your partner will feel as though you are a team.
Coping with Fights
Every couple disagrees, from tiny moments of tension to full on roof-raising fights. Some couples are traumatized by conflicts; others thrive on them and see them as opportunities to clear the air. Wherever you fall on the fighting spectrum, make sure you have a coping strategy in place. You could agree that no apology is necessary between you and that you’ll eventually, smile, make up and move on.
Don’t Let Boredom Set In
Boredom is one of the main factors in failing relationships. Do your best to keep it out of yours. Of course, many aspects of being together will become routine, especially if you both have demanding jobs or children. Yet, it is possible to keep boredom at bay by building in things to look forward to and being open to spontaneity and the unexpected. Look for reasons to say ‘Yes!” instead of dismissing your partner’s suggestions out of habit. One thing that suppresses fun in relationships is lack of money, so to be sure to have a fun fund. It might seem frivolous, but keeping your relationship thriving is not frivolous at all. It’s a necessity.
Communication is the Key to Your Heart–and Theirs
A couple who talks together will usually stay together, so make communication a priority. It doesn’t mean you have to talk each other’s ears off, of course, but if you talk at mealtimes, and don’t restrict topics to whose turn it is to do the school run next day, you can nurture a relationship where you can talk about anything, from current events to movies and books, from people you know to your favourite dog breeds. Doesn’t matter, as long as those lines of communication are kept open and active.
Connect Through Touch
Couples say a million things to each other without speaking. One way in which they do this is through touch. Holding hands, a gentle caress of your lover’s face, pushing a stray lock of hair away, a hand on an arm or knee while driving – all these things are like a private language between the two of you. Cultivate it and keep it going. Forever.