It’s just been a short time since the breakup. Your heart has been broken. You were desperately in love, and it ended. And without any plan or effort, you find yourself with someone new. It’s confusing. Are you in a rebound relationship?
It’s amazing how fast a broken heart can mend. Your new relationship has taken you by surprise. This is no time to second guess and run in the other direction. Breathe deep and move ahead. Take the time to assess how you feel.
It’s time to get clear with yourself and your new lover. You need to understand exactly what’s going on and where to go from here. You need to know if you are getting in or out of love.
Here are ten signs that you are embarking on a rebound relationship.
You may find that you’re experiencing some of these signs. If so, there’s a good chance that you are still getting over an old love, not starting a new one.
#1. You crave attention and some TLC.
You feel like dancing and dating. You don’t have any expectations past tonight.
You feel the need to spend time with someone. Anyone. You are drawn to people who give you attention or find you attractive.
You are very much attracted to other people. Even though you are getting the much-needed attention, you find yourself still looking for potential partners.
You are leaving a relationship where you didn’t feel good about yourself. You are making up for lost time. Even though you know instant gratification doesn’t usually work out, you are “all in”. And you have to admit you are having lots of FUN.
#2. You are having fun!
The sex is fantastic. You are being wined and dined. Your new lover is considerate and complimentary. Things are going well.
Your self-esteem is up. And you know that your new romance is giving you a boost. But you don’t have a clue if the relationship will last. There is no time or inclination for serious talks. You don’t care about your lover’s past.
You are focused on having fun, not the future.
You are not worried about much of anything. You aren’t concerned with making your new relationship work. It sounds like hard work. You are really happy that you have someone, but you aren’t interested in really making them a priority.
#3. It’s not monogamous.
Both of you may be seeing other people. Whether you are or not, it’s OK. You don’t feel like making a commitment. You don’t want to be tied down. There is no problem with extending the same freedom to you new love. No one is jealous.
#4. You went straight from the breakup into the arms of a new love.
It was a whirlwind. Of course, it takes time to get over a fractured romance. Usually, people grieve the loss of love for a few months. You were madly in love until it ended. But somehow you didn’t have time for the pain.
Here you are quickly with someone else and feeling no pain? You got with your new love so fast, you surprised yourself!
Are you wondering if you have unfinished business with the ex?
#5. You are still talking about your breakup.
Even though you have a patch on your heart, you can’t let go. You are still talking about your ex. You talk about them to your friends and even to the new significant other.
It’s like your heart is numb, but your head is still working overtime. You are still talking about it and trying to figure it out.
From time-to-time, you wonder why your ex is still on your mind. People may have even told you that they don’t want to hear about your ex anymore. After all, you are with someone new.
#6. You don’t want to be alone.
You make sure you are rarely alone. In between having fun and spending time with your new love, you want every second filled.
When you are by yourself, all bets are off. That’s when you get confused. That’s when you start thinking about your ex.
When you are with your new romantic partner, you are happy. But when you are all alone, you think too much.
#7. You have a secret hope that you may get back with your ex.
It’s when you’re alone that you start to think about getting your ex back. You are hoping that your ex knows you are with someone new. You can’t help imagining them jealous. And there is a part of you that would love to see the ex come crawling back to you.
Sometimes you wonder what your ex is doing. And you hope they miss you too.
Even though you tell yourself that you’ve moved on, a part of you is still in love. You try to compare your new love favorably to the one you lost. But there is something unspoken, something missing in your life. And you are afraid that it’s the ex.
You haven’t redecorated or removed the ex’s photos. You may still have some of their clothes or personal items. You want to put those things away. You want to believe that you’re not in love anymore. But sometimes, especially when your new love isn’t around, you want your ex-lover back.
#8. Your friends have tried to warn you that it’s too soon
Everyone was surprised when you started dating so quickly after the split. Your friends told you that it was too soon. They were there when you were in love with the ex. They keep trying to warn you that your new love will never last.
Rebound relationships move at a different pace. So far yours has been full steam ahead. And your friends and family are worried about you.
#9. You have a feeling that your brand new relationship won’t last.
You just can’t get serious about the new love. You are having fun. A part of you doubts if there is a future for your relationship. You aren’t in love. And you wonder how you ended up where you are. You are still healing.
The worst thing is that you suspect that you are using your new partner to get over the old one.
Although you are still happy and healing in your rebound romance, it’s time to consider your new lover. Be honest. Let them know that you are not over your ex. Explain that you may not be emotionally available for a serious lasting relationship.
Just because you’re in the middle of a rebound, it doesn’t mean that it won’t turn into something better. Any relationship can grow if you are willing to nurture it.
Let go of all expectations. Live in the moment. Whether the rebound lasts is not the issue. As long as you are honest and open, someday you will love again.