Marriage is hard work, they keep telling us. You have to put a lot into it to make your marriage a happy one. Marriage isn’t a bed of roses, and on and on it goes. Why should a happy relationship turn into a monster after the wedding? Why should you have to work so hard? We don’t think you do – here are Psychic Elements’ 10 simple marriage tips. Incorporate them as new habits, and perk up your marriage starting today.
Marriage Tip #1
Smile at your partner often. Look right at them and smile. Eye contact and smiling make people feel good. You did it right at the beginning of your relationship, so make sure you do it now. A smile is worth a thousand words.
Marriage Tip #2
Touch your beloved. Lovingly, casually, gently, teasingly; just a simple touch on their arm, back of their hand or cheek makes a secure connection. Combine with #1 above for instant chemistry that will make your partner tingle. Touching need not be sexual, in fact, it’s better if it isn’t most of the time. Let your love know that you are not just seeing them as a sexual partner.
Marriage Tip #3
Mention your shared history often. "Remember when we…?" Pleasant memories release dopamine – the same chemical that was released by the bucketful in your brain at the beginning of your romance. In fact, it is likely that dopamine is responsible for that wonderful, addictive falling-in-love experience. If you can recreate that in your mind and your partner’s mind throughout your marriage, then it’s sure to be a happy one.
Marriage Tip #4
Express gratitude and appreciation. Acknowledge when you partner has made an effort by showing appreciation. A simple, heartfelt compliment goes a very long way. Make it a habit in your marriage to tell them how happy they make you, how much you appreciate their hard work, and how glad you are that you are together.
Marriage Tip #5
Shut others out occasionally. Whether it’s children or your parents, make sure you have time alone with each other. Focusing only on your spouse will make him or her feel special and recreate those early days. These dates might be romantic staying-in-bed all day, going for an intimate meal at a restaurant, or planning and cooking a meal together at home. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as it is just the two of you together.
Marriage Tip #6
Let your children see you kissing. Let them witness your expressions of love to your partner. Even when they yell, “Yuk!” Experts tell us that children who see their parents in love, feel safer and more secure. If nothing else, it will have the whole family laughing, and laughing is good for all marriages. Therapist David Code goes even farther, saying that the parents’ relationship should come first. “The greatest gift you can give your children is to have a fulfilling marriage yourself."
Marriage Tip #7
Undertake a challenge together. Couples who try something a little different report feeling closer to their partner. Go for a walk and climb a tree. Try Geocaching (treasure hunting by sat nav). If you haven’t been swimming for ages, then do that. Whatever you choose, make sure you stay close. It feels as if you’re ‘in it together’.
Marriage Tip #8
Tell your partner you love them and pay them compliments in front of other people. This is a public declaration of love and reinforces your intimate moments. It doesn’t have to be embarrassingly sickly – when your partner says something amusing, just look at them and say, “You make me laugh; I do love you.” Don’t go overboard with this one – once in a while is enough. Too much can seem a bit creepy.
Marriage Tip #9
Write notes. Leave simple little notes for each other. They can be related to practical everyday things like “Don’t forget to put the cat out. I love you. Xox” Add smiley faces and a heart or two. Much nicer than text messages, though romantic texts are fine too. Getting up in the morning and discovering a note saying, “I’m so glad I found you” will absolutely make your spouse’s day, and you don’t have to wait for Valentine’s.
Marriage Tip #10
Open your eyes when making love. Look right at each other. This is almost more intimate than sex itself. Gazing right at each other’s faces is like baring your soul and revealing your deepest self. It completely cements the connection that sex brings to marriage. Try it. You can also reproduce ‘that look’ at other times. Hearts will beat faster, that dopamine will be released, and you’ll both know exactly what it means.
Some of our marriage tips obviously need to be discussed with your partner and planned, but you can put the rest into action straight away – is your partner in the room? Next time they speak, smile. Your rewarding, intimate, mutually beneficial and long-lasting marriage begins right here, right now.