Most of us have fallen in love at some time in our lives. Then comes a wild crazy obsessive ride that usually culminates in a relationship. What happens when the "new" wears off in romance? It's hard to yearn, burn and stay in love while you are going through day-to-day existence.
Image source: James B. Brooke on Flickr
Almost everyone has experienced a relationship that's gone wrong. If your love is fading, or worst yet, exploding, it's time to consider ways how to save a relationship.
1. Identify the Problem Areas
How do you know when there's trouble in paradise?
When a couple stops communicating, distance develops. You used to enjoy long conversations and talking and texting. Lately, it's a different story. Neither one of you wants to talk.
Distance (emotional and/or physical) can be a sure warning sign that it's time to pay attention. It's easy to drift apart. Have you noticed that you don't spend time together anymore? Are you more involved with other people and activities?
You may not even know what’s going on in each other's lives anymore. This failure to communicate might be a result of an unresolved conflict. Now that you know the problems that you face, you need to address them quickly. It should be obvious that things need to change.
Image source: Hernán Piñera on Flickr
No relationship can survive in a war zone. If you are constantly fighting and disappointed in each other, it has a numbing effect on the emotions. If you don't agree about anything, it's not surprising that you are both looking for a way out. Anger is no substitute for love.
When the arguing never ends, it can have a drastic effect on your sex life.
Any couple in a healthy and happy romance should be physically affectionate. When the hugs and kisses are a thing of the past, you are losing your relationship mojo.
Most red-hot romances cool off in time. But when your lover becomes your platonic buddy, it can be a serious situation. Friendship has its own rewards, but a love relationship needs some passion to keep it going.
2. Be Honest With Each Other
If you and your significant other have been together for a while, you may decide that your coupledom is worth saving. Once you have identified the problem areas, it's time to have an honest talk with your partner.
You both need to be open. Both of you have to be willing if these last-ditch efforts to save the relationship will work. If your partner is not willing to make an effort, then your chances aren't good. Both of you must believe that it is worth it. No matter how hard you try, you can't do it alone.
Image source: Lauren Rushing on Flickr
It is very tough to walk away if you have been together for years. But if both partners are not willing to work on the relationship, it won't improve. This is the turning point. From here on out it's important that you make an effort to communicate again.
Make an attempt to bridge the distance that has developed. Try more face to face conversations. Be clear positive and respectful. After all, you both want the same thing.
This journey of reconciliation must be taken together.
3. Give It a Second Chance
If you want to feel like you once felt, treat each other the way you did back then.
Do things for each other. Make time to spend together. Send notes or texts. Give gifts. Surprise each other. Win each other over like you did when you first met.
Image source: Fe Ilya on Flickr
Enjoy the things you have in common. Keep focused on what brought you together in the first place. This is the time to be honest, generous and spontaneous. Go out more to enjoy the things you both like to do. Get creative.
Not everyone gets a second chance. So take advantage of the fact that you have one. Together you are giving your relationship an honest "do over". It's never too late to re-write the script.
4. Declare a Truce
It's important that you declare a truce. You may never agree on everything, but you need to respect each other's opinion. Try to criticize less and encourage each other more. Be willing to look each other in the eyes. Be willing to listen without reacting.
Image source: Lizzie Phillips on Flickr
Get professional help if you need it. Keep in mind that you both may still be holding on to hurt feelings. When you make an effort to be honest and communicate, these old wounds may surface.
You have to be aware that you are letting go of the painful past and embracing the possibility of a happy future. Forgive yourself and forgive each other. Forgiveness can be a powerful tool.
5. Rekindle the Romance
It's time for more roses and romance. Passion can be rekindled once trust is restored. Many times when you recommit to each other, it helps in the physical affection department.
Hopefully, if you have drifted into a platonic friendship, it will catch fire again. When you are in an intimate relationship, pay careful attention to what makes your partner happy. Don't pass up the chance to hug, kiss and cuddle. It’s the best way to start every morning and end every night.
Image source: Send me adrift. on Flickr
If you keep your sense of humor, your chances are better. The couple that laughs together loves together.
There are still going to be disagreements and arguments. How you deal with the aftermath is what's important. You are giving each other a second chance. Be patient. Be kind. And enjoy the way back to a caring relationship.
Too often in the day-to-day distractions, we lose sight of love. That's when things fall apart. If you are in a relationship that's going bad, take some time. Decide if it's worth saving. If your partner feels the same way, it's not too late. You can start your love story all over again.
Maybe this time your love story can have a happy ending!