How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work

Congratulations, you’ve met the love of your life. You couldn’t be happier. Well, you could be a lot happier if you could get together. The trouble is you live on opposite sides of the continent, or even in different countries.

how to make a long distance relationship work Image source: chiarashine on Flickr

Definitely, your primary concern in this situation would be how to make a long distance relationship work.

Increasing numbers of people are meeting their future long-term partners on the internet, either via dating sites or social media. On the one hand, this is an advantage as single people can participate in a much wider pool of potential mates. On the other hand, it does mean that more relationships have to be conducted long-distance until the partners can establish a permanent close arrangement.

We’re going to have a look at potential long-distance relationship obstacles – and how to minimize them.

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Relationship

One of the biggest problems to deal with is the long, dry desert of time in between your meetings. You’re living life in a sort of relationship limbo. You go out and see all the happy couples, arms entwined, gazing at each other with total absorption. And there you are, in a relationship, but not. It’s tough putting on a brave smile and continually explaining to people that it’s "just temporary".

the loneliness of the long distance relationship Image source: Antoine K on Flickr

You need a strategy to enable you to get through the days or even weeks when you can’t see each other. A simple routine will help break up the days. Send a cheerful early morning greeting and loving good night every single day. Arrange to have at least one phone call at approximately the same time each day. Spend time in shared online activities – games, Facebook, watching the same videos or simply Skyping. When you have these together sessions to look forward to, the day doesn’t seem so long.

Beware of overkill – you need to have an independent life away from your laptop or smartphone. Constant connectivity to your love can become tedious after a while.

Don’t give up your social life. It’s too easy to jettison nights out with your friends to be with your online love. You still need friends outside of the relationship, so make time for them too.

Stay within your self-imposed boundaries. It would be silly to put yourself in situations where you are tempted to find comfort in the arms of another. So avoid clubs and places where you could find yourself near a tempting dalliance. You’ll never forgive yourself if you have a drunken fling. That brings us to…

Trusting Each Other in a Long-Distance Relationship

This is a biggie. When your love mentions, “Fiona in the office,” it’s hard not to feel a twinge of jealousy. After all, she’s there and you aren’t. She gets to gaze upon your adored one whenever she likes. Of course, it works both ways too; your partner will be feeling the same discomfort when you mention your brother’s best friend is popping over to unblock the kitchen sink.

trusting each other in a long-distance relationship Image source: BK on Flickr

Look upon this as a good way to develop trust. If the feelings are extreme, then this relationship will always suffer with trust and jealousy issues whether you are apart or together. Just remember, you are the one he’s phoning three times a day. It’s you he’s saying goodnight to, and you are the one he’s flying thousands of miles to see on a regular basis. If the relationship can survive all that, then it can also survive “Fiona in the office.”

Sharing Too Much Information

By all means, get sexy online or on the phone; however, please do be careful about sending intimate photos. Be realistic; the relationship might not last, and you don't want photos like that "out there", do you?

sharing too much information Image source: Tom Kershaw on Flickr

Long-Distance Emotional Reality

This is something you might not have considered at the start. There will be times when you wonder if you can keep going. When you have had a bad day, a game of online Scrabble is not the same as getting a great big hug from your love. It’s difficult not to feel a bit sorry for yourself. You can mitigate some of the emotional roller-coasters by sharing your feelings with your partner. Be honest about how difficult this is for you. Keep in mind, though, that he might have had a bad day too, and dealing with your pain might be too much, so try to stay positive.

long-distance emotional reality Image source: Phuket@photographer.net on Flickr

Your bestie can help. If you have a close friend, then ask him or her for support. Your sister or even your mother can prop you up emotionally if needed. A big hug and a cup of hot chocolate will often help put things in perspective.

The Tangled Wires of Long-Distance Communication

It’s oh-so-easy to get yourselves in a twist when communicating long-distance. Occasionally, an email or a text message can mean something else to the recipient than you intended. It’s easy to read the wrong thing into words on a screen because you are unable to hear the intonation and see the expression of the other person. So when you get that sinking feeling when reading an ambiguous message, don’t go on the offensive. Wait for your love to clarify what she or he meant.

the tangled wires of long-distance communication Image source: Wade Morgen on Flickr

Similarly, when sending messages, make sure you use emoticons or choose your words carefully. What you meant as ironic humor can be taken literally by your love.

Advantages of a Long-Distance Romance

There are positives to starting off a relationship long-distance:

advantages of a long-distance romance Image source: Jason Burrows on Flickr

  • You get to know each other’s minds intimately.
  • You can work the bugs out before you commit to a live-in and costly (emotionally and financially) arrangement.
  • You discover each other’s emotional strengths and weaknesses.
  • Your relationship will be based on love, not lust.
  • Trust is unlikely to be an issue when you are together permanently.
  • You value your time together.
  • Good communication will always be one of your strengths as a couple.

If you are one of the growing band of long-distance couples waiting for the opportunity to get together, know this: If you can survive these early trials of separation, you have a good chance of making your love last a lifetime.

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  1. By vincent555 on

    Hi, I would love to clarify a few points on this topic, to have a clear and right relationship.
    The first connection you'll ever before have is with yourself. It's also the lengthiest one at that. We fulfill people, learn more about them, and also if we locate some compatibility with them, we seek them– that's the natural way! Nonetheless, it's not only a question on that can jive with which, but rather having the ability to know ways to manage circumstances when two individuals mutually go after each other.
    Now, here is the thing– if you are not able to examine on your own, just how would you have the ability to assess others, and manage a partnership in the first place?

    The refined signs you await a partnership.

    Every one people is different in considerable means, however there are certain common points that can identify whether you are ready to opt for a long lasting relationship.
    1. You keep remnants of the past in the past. You do not review old messages and somewhat still reside in those minutes.
    2. You prevent indulging in contrast of ex lovers. Without a doubt, each of your ex-spouses can be various from each other. However, contrasting how great your ex is to your present date is a bad indicator as well as could come to be the origin for a fallen short or unhealthy partnership.
    3. You have an understanding of exactly what you want and also do not want. This implies that you possess the sentence to say "no" to people which you recognize points won't exercise with. If you definitely dislike somebody which could be very unreasonable, do not lower your specifications by making up with what you such as just to find a person which you can date.
    4. You are not scared to be single. Delving into a connection merely to be in one is a clear indication you're not all set to be in a true serious or long-term partnership.
    5. You don't give in to peer pressure. If all your pals are beginning to settle, or your parents are eager to obtain a grandchild, you don't utilize it as a need to ultimately date a person just due to the fact that you're forced or you feel you should.
    6. You appreciate individuals's judgments. People are various. Some might decline the concept of marriage, some might not wish to have kids and some may be okay with the concept of bisexual companions. When you remain in a relationship, you have to value the other person's point of view and not be judgmental about exactly what they assume. It is fine if you want them to alter, but after that you should likewise appreciate that adjustment comes with time and crucial, it includes love!
    7. You take some time to get to understand an individual. You wish to know the many things that intrigue them, or learn a point or two concerning their point of view in life. Through this, you could possibly see if your frame of minds match to greater than simply buddies.
    8. You don't conceal some points to kindly somebody. If you want to remain in a partnership, you want to be with that individual for long. This also implies that you would like that individual to know as well as recognize you entirely. As well as as a result, you would certainly not conceal anything from them.
    9. You understand that you could or might not discover "the one." You do not choose much less to get to life and also social belief. You select your own as well as understand the consequences of your activities.
    10. You prepare to discuss on your own. Not just yourself, yet your time, cash, room as well as a great deal much more. Because relationships have a great deal of demands, and for it to work, you need to have the ability to readjust.
    11. You know you are not destroyed. The only individual which could complete you is you. Prior to loving somebody else, you should enjoy yourself initially.
    12. You agree to take a risk. Somebody which is ready for true romance understands the dangers and unpredictability that has all the sensations. Those relationships would either become something much better, or it will not. An individual which awaits a connection understands that and wants to take that threat.
    13. You reveal guts. Anxiety should not drag you away of psychological dangers, personal
    duties and expectations. You go on since you want to deal with difficulties directly. You likewise demonstrate the courage to stroll away when you need to.
    14. You decide. You do not compensate on your own and decide on exactly what you desire in a relationship. You understand when to give in, but you know when to represent your choice as well.
    15. You are ready to expand. Relationships are not simply labels. If you indicate to find yourself growing to a better person therefore is your partner, after that more than likely, you are both ready for something much more serious.
    16. You recognize the importance of communication. The backbone of a connection to keep both companions heard as well as recognized is continuous communication. Having the ability to freely and also in all honesty share thoughts to a partner makes or damages a relationship.
    17. You understand when to allow some things slide. Regardless of what, you can't force each party to like every single single little thing about the other person. You are ready to allow certain things as it is or may be ignore some points also since you recognize that some things are a lot better when not taken care of. You know what could bring about unnecessary tension in your connection as well as are fine with allowing it slide.
    18. You prepare to allow a person as they are. You can't enter a partnership as well as anticipate someone to transform to exactly how you want them to be. You are ready to be with each other and approve each other as they are, adjusting in some cases in order to fulfill each various other's needs

    Reply »

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